I love to write. I love to connect with new people. I love the intellectual challenge of finding something to say, and expressing it in elegant, interesting ways. So it seems odd that I would have nearly abandoned the blogosphere. Yet I have.
Following my “97th monkey”:/about philosophy, I’m sharing this with you in the expectation that I’m not alone. See if any of this rings true for you.
Blogging became work
About a year ago, blogging changed from something I enjoyed doing to something I was supposed to be doing. I don’t know about you, but I resist doing what I’m “supposed” to do with a ferocity that I find difficult to explain. Combine this with the other points below, and you’ve got a recipe for one hell of a mental block.
Three things have been pulling at my attention the past 3 months: learning to live more consciously, making art, and hanging with my kids.
I’m not going to go into the first item here – I’ll get into that a bit below. Suffice it to say that my personal time, time that I used to choose to spend blogging, has been filled with other pursuits.
This is the biggest reason, and it relates to the point above. Much of my non-work time has been consumed with the process of becoming more aware of my conscious self. This is something I’ve written about previously. But the truth is that I’m not comfortable sharing this intensely personal experience in a work-related setting. And the fact is that I’ve been treating this site as an extension of my work life.
I’ve considered setting up a new site to discuss consciousness and whatnot, but the motivation hasn’t acheived the tipping point required to get me to move forward. (note: hmmm, perhaps a group blog?)
I haven’t yet made a concrete decision to stop the self-censoring here. I don’t really know why I’ve resisted writing about consciousness publicly – I suppose it’s because I’m concerned about being labeled a kook. Funny, when I say that out loud, I realize that a) I don’t care if people think I’m a kook, as long as they respond to my work, and b) I’m no more kooky than the rest of you!
This sounds stupid, even to me. But I had to stop putting myself in situations where people were asking me to do things for them. I was terrible at saying no, and as a result wound up disappointing people I care about. Stopping blogging was one way that I retreated from the online world.
I love pasta. But feed me pasta every day, and I’ll be sick of it in short order. Same is true of the topics I’ve been covering. I work on blogs all day. I work with design and code all day. I just got sick and tired of thinking about it.
Lack of time
This could be renamed “poor time management skills”. I fell off the GTD wagon, and I fell hard. Chaos ensued. “Hi, my name is Peter, and I’m a poor time manager”. Thanks to the support of “kGTD”:http://www.kinkless.com and “others”:http://www.43folders.com, I’m back on the wagon.
I’ve got a great tan.
So how am I going to get back in to blogging? Easy. DMZ. Clean slate. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Call it what you will, I’m just going to stop being affected by the past and take responsibility for my actions in the present. In other words, I’m just doing it.
Talk to you again soon.