The problem with weeny beards

I am the proud owner of a weeny beard. I’ve been proudly stubby chinned since ’91 or there abouts. There have been a few weeks in the intervening years that I’ve been totally baby faced, but they are few and far between. Sure, I’ve had brushes with the much maligned goatee. I’ve even had a full beard a couple of time (damned itchy thing). But I like a clean lip (better for necking), so the hair has stayed down below, so to speak.

The reasons for my bushy button are many and varied:

* I have big cheeks (don’t laugh, I do!), and the dark patch draws the eye down nicely, giving me a more manly square jaw.

* My chin seems to be receeding into my neck.

* I’ve had it so long my wife can’t stand me without it.

* I foolishly think it makes me look classy and stylish.

* It offers (offered?) a touch of the ‘fuck you’ to the corporate standard.

* It makes me a bit unique.

Or so I thought. Today, via “css beauty”:, I discovered “Self Portrait Day”:, a beautifully designed, if unfortunately retro site. The idea is that readers answers a couple of standard questions, and upload a – wait for it – self portrait.

Of the 5 males on the first page, 4 have beards. That’s 80% people! Worse, click on the archives, visit last week’s post and scroll down a bit, and you see “this”: guy. *That could be me – except for the whole second coming of christ part.*

Back when I first started this site, I wrote about my attempt to grow a “pirate moustache”:/index.php?id=14 Little did I know that I soon be returning to the scraggly subject of hairy kissers.

I find that I’m facing an unexpected _crise d’identit√©_ (does anyone here speak ‘real’ french, god I hope not). I’m rather attached to my soul patch, but I’m afraid it screams “look at me, I’m a non-conformist designer. Just like all the other guys.”

Such is the pettiness of life…

ps: My Zen Garden book came today. Woo hoo!