This 6 minute unedited recording contains a couple of interesting thoughts:

• Controlling our evolution
• The appearance of free will
• The genetic imperative, masquerading as intention
• Striving as an evolutionary advantage
• And a hopeful ending

There are a couple of long pauses – those are me trying not to crash.

I’m wise enough at this point to know that what is up will soon be down (and vice versa), so I didn’t panic, knowing I’d eventually come back to centre. I’m relieved that I’m starting to glimpse my equilibrium point, but am frustrated at the pace of change.

In an effort to speed things up, I finally took my own advice and started writing. ‘Lo and behold, it worked (it always does for me). What came from that writing exercise is a personal mission statement designed to guide me through this next stage of life.

The concept of a personal mission statement is as corny as it comes. I didn’t set out to write such a thing. Rather I was trying to understand the thing that was bugging me (uncertainty, instability, insecurity, yadda yadda). In the midst of a couple of pages of stream of consciousness flow, I wrote a simple little paragraph that held an amazing amount of truth. Reviewing it, I realized it is a personal mission statement; it’s a map to what I need to do in order to fulfill my mission (more precisely, my mission at this moment). Here’s what I wrote:

For this next stage of my life, I want to:

• Design web-based things that have a positive social impact.
• Have autonomy over the shape of my day.
• Work with a team of conscious adventurers.
• Be present with my family.
• Be able to meet my financial obligations.

Identifying these five points has gotten me a lot closer to my own center. With them, I have context with which I can make career choices. I have a place from which I can reframe my own brand. And I have a road-map of sorts that leads to peace.

A few months ago, my friend Sean Howard and I got very drunk on expensive white wine and strong Quebec beer (oy, the hangover!). We discovered that we share a passion for, um, passion. Over the following weeks, we met a couple of times to explore models of how passion affects people’s decisions, what passion means, how it’s measured, and to drink more wine.

I was very honored when Sean asked me to contribute the design for an e-book he was putting together specifically on passion and it’s role in the economy. Some seriously big-brained people. You may want to check the authors out on Twitter:

• Matthew Milan
• Charles Edward Frith
• Peter Flaschner
• Alan Wolk
• Katie Chatifeld
• Mike Arauz

• Mack Collier
• Mike Wagner
• Gavin Heaton
• Ellen Di Resta
• Scott Suthren
• Sean Howard

The Passion Economy pdf is released under a Creative Commons Share-Alike license. You are welcome to download, re-upload, distribute and do with as you see fit. I hope you enjoy it. Download at will.

I’ve said before that “personal productivity” is a state of mind; when we feel productive, we are productive.

This ties in with story I’ve been repeating to myself most mornings. I don’t if this is an urban myth or not, but it doesn’t really matter. The story goes like this:

A guy gets sick. He goes to see doctor after doctor after doctor. He has tests and surgeries. And through all the poking and prodding, he retains a cheerful attitude. He never gets cranky. He never gets bitchy. He just smiles and tells funny stories. His doctors and care givers are amazed. “How do you maintain this positive attitude?” they ask.

“It’s easy,” he tells them. “Every morning I have a decision to make; am I going to be happy or am I going to be miserable. I made a conscious decision to always choose happy. I make that one simple decision every day, and what you see are the results of that.”

Lately, as I slowly wake up under the shower, I’ve been telling myself that same story, and making that same decision. It’s helped, and as I develop the habit of doing it, it seems to be helping more and more.

I wonder what would happen if one were to make the same decision about feeling productive…

There are a couple of problems with having one’s stress set to high: health deteriorates, work tends to suffer, decision making tends to be impaired, etc etc ad infinitum. Also, it sucks.

But all is not horrible suckage. In my case, the pain associated with the stress has pushed me back into my forgotten habit of meditation.

Meditation is like magic. For me, it acts like a kind of a reset button. After 20 minutes of sitting, I feel refreshed. I’ve dropped the bullshit of the day, and can face the coming day with a greater ability to tolerate more bullshit. Without meditation, I’m sure I would have snapped at more people more often with more ferocity.

Meditation has nothing to do with religion or spiritual beliefs. In it’s simplest form it is mental exercise. True, it often leads to spiritual insights. But that kind of comes as a nice bonus.

Meditating is the simplest, most difficult thing I do. There are many excellent free resources online to help you get into or get back to meditating. I particularly like the zencast podcasts myself. They have some great guided meditations, which are a terrific place to start.

There’s a nagging voice in the back of my head that’s saying “you should have stuck it out with the old machine. You caved in when you could have made do, saved some money, and put less crap into the environment”.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

If you are eligible to vote in your state’s primary, please do so. We’re all responsible for the governments we choose.

As a Canadian, I can’t vote. But Canada is very strongly impacted by US policies. Hence this friendly request. Thanks.

But I’m 37 now, and I’ve finally come to grips with the fact that I move from passion to passion, rarely looking back. This has made for a rather bumpy ride through life. I have many scars, both literal and metaphorical. But each one tells a story, and the value of those stories is immeasurable.

So here’s the story of what’s occupied me this past half year, told concisely.

*Work.* The Blog Studio continues to happily fill my days. We’ve been doing our thing for long enough now that we have our systems down. Projects (usually) run smoothly, and I get to concentrate on IA and UI design. When I remember to, I feel proud of what I’ve built. I designed my ideal job and made it real.

*Singing and playing guitar/keyboard/harmonica.* All my life I’ve wished I could be a rock star. It’s not the glamour or money. It’s the singing and performing. To me, there is no more personal form of art than singing. Nothing makes me feel as naked. Or terrifies me quite as much. There’s also nothing quite as rewarding as fully committing to a lyric, and nailing it. I play twice a week with two groups, I practice guitar as much as possible, and am trying to learn to play harmonica and keyboards. Youtube is an amazing resource for lessons.

*Family.* I love being with my family. I have so much fun hanging with my kids. There is nothing more important to me than being the best dad I can be. I put a lot of energy into this. That energy doesn’t necessarily go into *doing*, instead it often goes into *letting*. Letting the kids be rambunctious monsters, or noise factories. It takes a lot of energy and attention to avoid snapping. But that expenditure is worth it. My kids are turning into amazing people. This may prove to be my greatest accomplishment.

*Self.* I try to spend about an hour a day on myself. Usually this doubles as walk the dog time. Currently, I’m working on accepting the moment just as it is. This is a very powerful practice; one that requires that we be able to clearly see what’s happening, and that we greet it with tenderness.

*Art.* I’ve been fooling around a lot with paint. With the help of my kids (especially the 4 year old) I’m learning to let go of representational imagery in favour of colour and texture.

So there you have it. The past six months in under 500 words!